Zombie Apocalypse

Something so interesting happened to me recently, which caused me to understand something very profound and I wanted to share…

The last few weeks I have been struggling so much with anger, rage, and hatred. This is new to me, because I have never struggled like this before in these areas. Not that I can remember anyways. I never thought I was a hateful person, but someone, pushing all my buttons continuously, and it has all come rising up in me…

I think that Jesus let’s me struggle for awhile on my own to show me that I can do nothing in my own strength, and so that I learn to have compassion for those in bondage.

I could literally FEEL it rising up in me. Like a warm rush… starting in my belly and rising up into my chest… washing over me… it actually really surprised me because I did not know that those things were inside of me… it would rise up and I would think “this is anger” or “this is “rage”… “this is hatred”

That warm rush rising up… it was such a familiar feeling… I realized that is what I used to experience when I was in the churches… I thought for so long that warm rush coming over me was the “Presence of God”… it disguised itself as “love and comfort” to me for many years… I thought it was Jesus for YEARS and here I was experiencing it again… that same spiritual feeling of love and comfort washing over me… except this time it was manifesting as anger, rage, and hatred. It was that same spirit… 

That warm rush was adam rising up. adam, that antichrist spirit, the old man, that false christ, that old serpent, he who has been crucified with Christ and is dead… he tries to resurrect himself too… I realized that adam is a zombie. A dead man trying to live again.

And that same warm rush I thought for years was the love of God… is the same spirit as hatred. It is anti-christ.

There is a dead man living in me apart from Christ. A zombie apocalypse trying to resurrect himself also. The Lord told me that death is not the absence of life. Death is false life. Death is only be overcome by Christ.

I tell you, in that night there shall be two men (one spirit and one flesh) in one bed (one body); the one shall be taken (risen with Christ), and the other shall be left (flesh). Luke 17:34

2 thoughts on “Zombie Apocalypse

  1. I will share with you my experience with this. For a long time I had so much anger against the LORD. I felt like HE had left fatherless and alone. I felt like HE has some how short changed me. I had tried to pin this down many times before and wrestled with this antichrist in me and finally one day the dam broke. It was not pretty Tatiana. I said things that most people would never ever dream of saying to GOD but there there were coming out. The tears, the rage, and well I am sure you can imagine. For days I felt like I was going to just die with guilt or wanted to die with guilt. I could not even walk properly. Everything inside me felt broken. A few nights after this something happened to me. I was half away and half asleep but I could feel it. It was like my skin was being hauled off my body and I was pierced on my left side in my heart. That is the best way I can describe it. I cannot say what or who did it but I know I am more at peace since that time. The anger is gone and the guilt is over. The thought of it comes back but it never lasts for more than a second or two. I just wanted to share that with you. I don’t know if it will be of any help but there ya go. GOD BLESS and I hope the anger does not last! Many Blessings to you Tatiana

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thats deep.. love that abt one bed being one body.. even two women in a field. This experience u had is amazing too. I really believe He lets all our stuff rise up to the surface to be exposed n no longer hidden, like scum on top. Everything will rise up n He will deal with it. I went thru an experience too when I saw how much hate I had, n fear, n murder in my heart. His Grace doesnt condemn us for it, but He brings it out n makes us new. Its hard to see n experience though, stuff Im ashamed of, but it also shows me that I can look to Him only.

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